now i ain't saying she's a goldigger

My dear lord this couldn't be older news but we'll pretend that it's not won't we! Hopefully the fact that this is from September will be overlooked by some readers because my page tells me that I have the odd visitor from Germany, UK, US, Singapore and some other radical places... surprising and lovely!

Anyway getting to the point now. This my friends is the Brownlow Medal Red - sorry corporate sponsored Blue Carpet. All you need to know is that it's like the Oscars for meathead Australian footy players and their... ahem lady (I use the term very lightly) friends get an opportunity to matter for one day of the year.

Notorious fashion shitfest, aka a highlight of my year - of course.

If I don't mention names its because generally no one gives a shit who they are, therefore I do not know.

This girl looks like some sort of Las Vegas feature, she is one of the better ones though believe it or not. However, my point is, why on earth did she choose this? It reminds me of the dress I used to draw as my dream dress for my grade 6 graduation, all I wanted was sparkly fireworky thingys all over it, but I was 11. What is this girl's excuse?

This girl's boyfriend won last year. That translates into designers throwing themselves at you to wear their dresses because you are sure to get mentioned everywhere. So she went with umm this. It's like a cross between a pretty cool 80s mini dress and an ill advised home made deb dress. I'm all for hourglass figures and Beyonce bums etc, but this probably wasn't the best idea.

And why your vagina looks like the epicentre of a stud explosion is also a good question for whoever thought this up.

Tania Buckley - wife of a very high profile ex footballer, should have known she was in 2009 and heading to the Brownlows, not 1979 heading to a cheap studio 54 knockoff club.

Also she should know dress codes by now, black tie in my books should always be black tie. Why waste your chance at the king of dress codes on trash you could wear every Saturday night?

This is some sort of reworked wedding dress apparently. Why? I don't know. Someone should have told her it wasn't fancy dress, and if she was planning on being Bo Peep, she should remember in future to go all out and bring a curly stick thing and wear a bonnet.

This poor girl was sent this dress to wear, it's worth $500 000 and covered in Swarovski crystals. I'm certain she was obliged to wear it because no one would want so much media attention when their tiny hips look like a Mack truck.

Most people think Australia is a bit behind, but we manage to stay afloat, and we are aware of Megan Fox. Therefore taking a picture of her to your dressmaker and pretending it's original is dumb.

Ahhhh Brynne Gordon, marrying old arse footy royalty oh yeah I am talking about the guy next to her, and enjoying her first public AFL function. A few points on this one:

- This "gown" was purchased in - wait for it - Las Vegas

- She considered it to be quite modest because it isn't meant to be worn with the 3 sizes too small for your implants bra underneath.

- She wasn't cold in the bitter Melbourne cold because her dress has sleeves

- Still acts as though she has no idea why she got so much attention for her dress

- She is also the most intelligent girl in the room because although she looks like an absolute tragedy, she got the kind of spotlight (on the night and after) that every other girl who tried to do everything right could not have paid for. She won the war of the wags hands down. Smart move.

Final note on this one. Guess how old she is. Go ahead, give her a good look and come up with a figure, it will be worth it trust me.

Got it?

Ok good.

I bet it wasn't twenty six.

Now a nostaligic look at the sartorial wonder of Tania Buckley. Yes that is a jewel encrusted G-string. Yes it was intentional - in fact it is not poking up over her dress, it is a part of it.

This is Brownlow fashion epitomised in a dress. Wonderful isn't it?

After that dress, came ones like this, or the one Brynne Gordon wore. Every single year there is at least one really bad, really slutty dress. This was last years.

So anyone who didn't get to see all of this at the time, or isn't from Victoria, are you starting to get it? Although it is meant to be the classiest night on the footy calender all the girls take their fashion and beauty advice from 16 year old Texan prom girls.

Wow I love awards nights. At least at most you get 3 or 4, at the very least 1 person who fucking nails it. Not the Brownlows.

Arias and Logies... CAN'T WAIT!

words she knows tune she hums

(facehunter)

This is a direct reaction to my waning interest in tough shit. I'm starting to think stuff like this makes you look lovely and stuff like that makes you look like a victim.

Opinions. Give them to me.

wouldn't it be nice

This woman is exquisite. It's an absolute joke what Anna Del Russo gets away with wearing, what she wears during the day are things most people would struggle to wear at night, or even at a formal event.

If only if only if only more people could pull this shit off, wouldn't the world be a lovelier place, wouldn't we skip through the streets bathed in golden sunlight. Oh yeah, this is a fantasy of mine.

The photos are from all around the traps, the last one is Garance Dore though.

who's that loungin in my chair

I have a whole lot of bloglove for Mufti, who is out getting ribs apparently.

She will probably piss off a lot of bloggers, because she calls a spade a spade. I like that in a girl/boy/blogger.

As I've said I'm getting over the ripped, shredded, and studded of late, so I don't much know what to post... I'm in fashion limbo. OGR is not in limbo she knows what she does and doesn't like and she isn't afraid to disagree with every other blogger on the planet. She isn't getting much ass kissing yet, but she deserves it - though she will probably put it in the 'nay' category, I'm not sure how she takes to ass kissing.

Mufti, your name reminds me of a vagina and I love it.

Click the link, you'll love it, I'll love it, we'll all be in love and shit.

it's a beautiful day

Topshop... in Australia...

WHHHAAAAAT? SHIT YEAH!

Ok so maybe it's in Sydney, but that means it's only a matter of time before it's in Melbourne! In the meantime, flights to Sydney are only like $50, as if that's not worth it. I don't quite know what to do with myself...

AHHHHHHHH!

Today is a happy day.

make you sweat

(via le fashion)

Interesting.

my little pipedream fantasy

I know everyone has probably already seen this, but this dress is genius.

THANK YOU Alexander McQueen.

i told you to be patient

Soooo...

Well I'm completely and totally uninspired. I don't know if it's because I'm trying to settle into a new town, or if the clothes are shit at the moment or if I'm just plain old bored but nothing is catching my attention. It could be the weird in between seasons thing that's going on, where you have to wear half winter clothes you've been wearing for months mixed with old as hell last summer pieces. Anyway I'm at that point.

I suspect this will change post spring fashion week, and post September magazine purchases.

Rest assured I have not carked it.

smells like

Hahaha someone in the UK is selling a Summer Bay high school uniform on ebay. WT Fuck? Oh I remember wanting their uniform so bad, ours was supercrap. People looked for ways to improve it, but cutting the skirt short, wearing your collar up, and whether or not your shirt was tucked in was not going to help matters in any way.

Funny how modifying your uniform was a trend, socks went from ankle to folded, blazers came and went and wearing your skirt scandalously low on your hips - so low the button wouldn't reach and you would need a safety pin or two - that was trendy for a while too.

The boys however had a different idea, it was long sleeve shirts and shorts all year round, bitter cold or sweaty sweaty heat - although even they were not immune to the shitty collar up fad.

For the record both Jen and I did not subscribe to the further uglification of an already very bloody fugly uniform - we knew better for it was and always will be a very lost cause.

gonna blow up

Well how the hell am I supposed to keep on hating on leopard print now Kate? Huh? Tell me pleeease.

epic (fails)

I know this is how you want to dress, but unfortunately for you you have a knack for making expensive, well designed dresses look like trash. Someone let you go out like this, with your 16 year old boobies, and it's probably the same person that told you to stand like that with your legs w i d e open. Hmmmm.

You look somewhat similar to a house. Sorry, but it just is not flattering. In any way.

You want everyone to see your bra. Come on now.


Amazing Rock & Republic dress, not so amazing Dimmeys singlet underneath.


What are you? Fucking 46?



It seems you are trying to be Cameron Diaz when she wore a very similar, yet better in every way outfit. It also seems that you have a wardrobe full of the same dress in varying shades.


Brenda Song, your outfit is like what people wear to the supermarket. It pisses me off that you could have worn anything you wanted and chose this. Also, your name is Brenda.



Shoes = lovely. Everything else = awkward.

You shit me in every movie you are in.

and i don't like star wars

(facehunter)

Jen, do we need bikes? We can't afford them, so lets hang around milk bars until some kids leave them outside to get fizzers and push pops and to look at porn.

We may also need sparkly gold jackets, and new haricuts.

Also we might need to work out how to ride a bicycle without looking like big twats.

a vision of you

What the shit is this crap you may ask? Oh! Only my new favourite song ever made. That is until I kill it as I am listening to it on a loop and have been for several days.

It's just sooooooooo good

Especially the sweet power mullet and how committed they are. This leads me to assume that at some point this was super sexy stuff. The concept is completely beyond me also, perhaps listen as you avert your eyes. Being drunk might help too.

I still think it's genius. I don't care what anyone says.

Especially Jenna.

it's all over you electric blue

This Marcus Lupfer for Topshop Jumper is way cool, but my extroadinarily similar black Carla Zampatti gold sequin giraffe jumper is way radder for the following reasons:

- it is vintage
- it was found at a Mill Market (have you EVER attempted going through their arsenal of clothes?)
- it wasn't 85 effing pounds.
- it survived a very very very rough Saturday night
- it is mine
- that is all

every time she sing a song the other girls sing along

(karla's closet)


More on the hot mum front, Karla's mum is super hot. A super hot mum with a rad jacket. Since everyone who takes a remote interest in fashion blogging reads her page, you can tell by the haircut how old this picture is. I saved it at the time because I loved the jacket, came across it again, still love it. Bitch has staying power.

I also used to love those Colin Stuart booties... hmmm not so much anymore. Am currently thankful that I was far too lazy to convert AUD into USD to buy them. At the time they were pretty hardcore heels, now they look kind of soft. I think everyone will agree that this trend has taken on a life of its own - which is just lovely.

time on my hands

(chictopia)

How does one wear a hat and avoid looking like a twat? With chambray and denim, silly!

I think if you take the hat out of all these outfits and you lose 85 cool points. You don't want that now do you.

The second last chick has got to be channelling Erin Wasson in her Vogue Australia shoot, you all know it I'm sure, with the blue wayfarers and green cocktail.

My head doesn't fit regular people hats. I have to bobby pin beanies on and I have one fedora because it shrunk when it got wet. For dance performances when I have to wear lame hats (they are always incredibly lame) I have to stick a slab of foam in the top so they don't fall over my eyes. Woe is me.

Stupid good for nothing baby sized head.

Does the kids section have trendy hats? Or only legionnaires caps?

Ahhhh hahahahaha

heart shaped box

The absence may be over, the lover is back and I no longer feel the need to stay super duper busy, oh yes I totally see how pathetic I sound.

I got some rad presents, the coolest boots to ever wrap themselves around my feet and a very fucking cool ring that manages to somehow make my shit sausage fingers not look so shit - or sausagey. Also the usual Indo stuff, you know, sunnies, a carton of cigarettes that taste like cinnamon, woven bracelets, etc. Will have to show you when I have camera access.

Currently waiting for the sun to rise in the love shack with the most amazing view of the ocean in pretty Lorne. BF is upset at the total lack of swell, GF is oh so excited that we have no reason to leave the apartment... ;)

Oh please! I am gross and lovey at the moment that I used a fucking smiley. Give me a day or two to become cynical again please.

PS has everyone seen Maurie & Eve's new shit? Fuck me. They get me every time, although poor and trying to save for the upcoming move, I may have to invest. I wore M&E to both the boy's and my 21st (different ones though dur, actually I ended up in jeans at mine, read: Hurricane) and it was compliment city, I think their cut agrees with me, no easy feat M&E, hats off to you.

Was planning on posting sweet photo's of their sweet collection but the sun is coming up over the ocean and I'm wondering why I'm on the putes! Gotta gooooo!

x x

tap at my window

I'm sending more love Hedi Slimane's way. I am no photographer - sometimes I take photos and think they are works of art until I ask my photographer friend who informs be that they are god awful. So my point is when I look at photos and they make me feel something or force me to think surely that must mean they are excellent.


Hedi's photos bring out an emotion in guys, and unless its anger that seems to be fairly hard to do. This is not the most emotive picture of this guy, but it is the sexiest. Bit too clean for my liking but check out the skin and those lips. Yep I almost got deep there, then I turned into a fiend again.

transmission

This reminds me of Boogie Nights, and I don't know why but I sure do like it.

ch ch ch changes

Cairns was fucking brilliant.

Although now I am pierced, withdrawing from large intakes of booze, missing the sailor men (which truly was like the episode of Sex & the City), sore from learning how to work a pole, and applying for a house at the beach with le bf.

Mixing things up is taking more time than expected, I'll be back on the horse shortly, until then check those bad arse Chloe's below, which has been added to my list of shit that I want copied in Indo. Fingers crossed ol faithful will come through with the goods.